Putting the G(ame)RR in SWINGER, Baby, Yeah!

So, after EB Games got their misogyny on last week, releasing THAT video and making gamers look like douchebags; the playing field was open for the other retailer, GAME, to step up and show how they are different.

And boy, did they!

See, unlike the PTB at EB, the fine people at GAME don’t think all gamers are unhappily married men with nagging bitch wives who’ll only do the dusting (their fucking JOB, I think we can all agree) once they’ve been bought a fancy meal. No, the people at GAME think all gamers are sex-starved orgy-fanciers with no social skills, desperate to find a bowl, any bowl, in which to throw their keys.

Personally, I will only concede to the first part, thank you very much.

Introducing “GAMESWINGING”, your one stop-shop for game AND potential-sex-partner trading!

A mixture between speed-dating, multiplayer gaming and 1-3am in any nightclub on any night, Gameswingers can choose to switch between games and gamers until they find a combo they like, at which point they can go off privately and…uh…“level up” together.

I’m honestly not sure what I think about this development. I mean, clearly I am excluded from the events because this appears to be skewed specifically to the boy-girl arrangement (to be expected, they are the majority group, but still: STRIKE ONE); but I’m not angry about it. I’m just…uncomfortable.

First of all, the reasoning is off. “The success of our trade in deals has taught us one thing – our customers don’t like commitment!”

The success of game trade-ins don’t indicate distaste for commitment, it indicates distaste for spending excess money. By that way of reasoning, GAME should have launched a website offering discount prostitutes. It would have aligned more closely with the source data, and would have at least been more honest. “Grab your joystick”? “Play privately” in the “High Scorer’s Suite”? Good grief. Please, never tell me what the euphemism translation is for “press X to ‘Jason’”.

I think the thing that scares me the most about “GAMESWINGING” is the idea you can switch games or game partners by raising the “trading paddle” (which are thankfully unable to be taken into the “High Scorer’s Suite” for more intimate paddling). The person with whom you are “playing” (ooh-err, matron) can just gesture their dislike for you? I take it personally when a connection error boots me from the game server; how could I be expected to handle being openly rejected? Also, was it my looks, my personality, or because I ended your killing streak and stole your awesome weapon? YOU’D NEVER KNOW FOR SURE.

Game-themed swinger parties: a good idea or in poor taste? What do you think? And what WOULD “press X to ‘Jason’” mean?