SpongeBob SquarePants The Cosmic Shake Review

A nostalgic romp that's a little less fun than the one before it.

I wouldn’t say that I’m a SpongeBob SquarePants fan — I’m able to count the number of episodes I’ve watched on two hands — but I am one of SpongeBob SquarePants Battle for Bikini Bottom Hydrated. Its ricidulously long name aside, Rehydrated was a perfect bit of nostalgia that wrapped up the zany humour of the loveable sponge and his pals alongside quality platforming and collect-a-thoning.

While SpongeBob SquarePants The Cosmic Shake comes reasonably close to Hydrated — and has a slightly shorter title — it doesn’t hit those same heights. Instead, it’s more of the same, jam-packed with some questionable design choices.

The Cosmic Shake comes about when the well-intentioned sponge comes into possession of a jar full of powerful, wish-granting mermaid tears. Not knowing this to be the case, SpongeBob makes wish after wish — for his friends rather than himself, of course — and in doing so rips the fabric of space and time. Because everyone needs to have a multiverse these days, characters are deposited into large, themed open-area maps called WishWorlds. Each has its own style of course, and on top of that play around with general multiverse shenanigans: friends become enemies, enemies become friends and all that.

It’s here that we’re introduced to the villanous Kassandra, a fortune teller who realises the potential of the cosmic jelly that’s spilling from the tears that our hero has created. Preying upon our naive little sponge, she puts him on a quest to collect as much jelly as possible throughout the WishWorlds. SpongeBob, as he does, also wants to rescue his friends ’cause he’s nice like that.

The Cosmic Shake has the same core as Hydrated — SpongeBob jumps off into the WishWorlds and is tasked with a series of missions. He also accessorises his look per mission, so expect him to wear a cowboy outfit for his time in a Wild West world, as an example; more costumes can be purchased by collecting in-world coins and jelly, and then spending up in the store. As he nabs jelly and tracks down his friends, SpongeBob will also be asked to find collectible special items that will play into a proper 100% completion, and engaging with a series of mini-games that I can’t recall existing in previous outings.

While the meat and potatoes of Cosmic Shake remain the real drawcard —  and are just as fun as they’ve always been — most of the mini-games end up as unnecesary padding, prompting the user to hit one button and then perhaps mash another. And then repeat. And likely repeat again. They’re paired with quasi-mini-games involving vehicles; these prompt you to boost or jump and most seem superflouous than fresh and fun.

While Rehydrated has you playing as a host of characters, it’s a SpongeBob-only affair this time around; to counter the sameiness of this, SpongeBob will progressively unlock new moves like the karate kick in additon to a dodge mechanic and a trusty wishwand that can bubble up (read: envelop) enemies or activate timed platforms. While the moves do switch things up and, in a Metroidvania-like way provide a reason to replay levels, some combinations could prove a little too tricky for the demographic Cosmic Shake is aimed at. I imagine parents may, at times, need to step in when a chain of karate kicks is needed to pass through a sequence. Regardless, I would have appreciated extra characters rather than a barrage of extra moves.

While the bubble wand is quite useful to attack enemies, it’s really not needed; it’s also tied to a very broken auto-aim system that began to infuriate me as it would target an object or opponent and then ignore the target completely, firing a bubble almost 90 degrees into the air instead. On that note, there are several buggy sequences found within Cosmic Shake. There are so many monster closets will throw up a barricade around an arena — forcing you to beat every baddie within — though on multiple occasions baddies would either spawn just outside the barricade or get trapped in internal geometry, making it hard to continue on.

Squidward’s movieset-themed level also has a right-to-left, side-scrolling mini-game that causes death if you end up too far too the right… or, as it turns out, too far to the left. It became frustrating quite quickly… as did hearing SpongeBob say, “a little dab’ll do ya!” pretty much any time I picked up collectible cosmic jelly.

Despite the issues, The Cosmic Shake is generally competent. If you can overlook the mini-games that dot the landscape, the platforming is tight. Combat is mostly on the same level. If that works for you — and if the idea of more SpongeBob if that excites you — than this is one you might consider.

SpongeBob Squarepants The Cosmic Shake is now available on Windows PC, Xbox One, PS4 and Switch.

Nioh was reviewed using a promotional code on PS4, as provided by the publisher. Click here to learn more about Stevivor’s scoring scale.

SpongeBob Squarepants The Cosmic Shake 31 January 2023 PC PS4 Switch Xbox One   Buy on Windows PC via Steam Buy on the Microsoft Store Buy on Amazon: PS4, Switch, Xbox