I played an hour of Final Fantasy XV this morning, yet all I can think of is the game’s first ten minutes or so – and Gladiolus’ sweet, sweet ass.
We’re talking Nightwing-level buttocks here, boys and girls – and I know this not because I’m a perv, but because Square Enix really, really wanted me to check ‘em out.
Within minutes of the start of the game, our four heroes – Noctis, Prompto, Ignis and the mighty fine Gladiolus – are stranded at the side of the road. Their car, the Regalia, has broken down and the four have no other choice but to push it up the road.
What follows next is a two-or three-minute sequence where a fixed camera remains focused on Gladiolus’ ample assets as he, perched at the rear of the car, helps with said pushing.
Let me tell you something – FFXV’s character designers have put some hard hours into sculpting glutes. With each step Gladiolus took, you could see muscles firing and buttocks bouncing.
Step after step after step. It doesn’t help matters that Gladiolus is clad in the tightest of leather pants too. All the while, you’ve got limited movement, swinging what little control of the camera you have, left and right and up and down, all around his ass.
Honestly, I wish I could share the twenty or so screenshots I produced by slamming on the PS4’s Share button during the sequence, but couldn’t save and use as part of the preview experience (and fair enough, too).
The sequence is really used to get some exposition out of the way and to establish the bond between the group – as well as FFXV’s special cover of “Stand By Me” – but I barely gave a moment’s thought to any of that. I was fixated on the mulleted wonder’s backside.
Sadly, the sequence had to end – and shortly after, we were introduced to the ever-bosomed Cindy – but I’d like to think the pair’s assets equaled each other out.
No matter your sexual preference, it looks like Square Enix is aiming to make you happy with Final Fantasy XV. And who knows — maybe this little sequence is in direct response to Anita Sarkeesian’s assessment that we see far too many ladies’ backsides in games, yet hardly ever any mens’. Either way, I welcome it.
Our proper preview of the game will follow shortly.