Romeo is a Dead Man Review: A Time Shocking Labyrinth!

I just can't.

Romeo is a Dead Man is the latest from Grasshopper Manufacture and SUDA51, the latter recently part of the somewhat lacklustre Hotel Barcelona. Whereas that title had some interesting ideas that ultimately fall through, Romeo is a Dead Man tries to get by on style and attitude alone, and will divide players accordingly.

Players will fill the shoes of Romeo Stargazer, a sheriff in love with a girl named Juliet (yep), and who seemingly finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Near death, his grandpa turns him into an android like being, alive and not (hence the title) and charges him to work with the FBI Space-Time division in order to hunt down temporal abnormalities.

What this largely translates to is a chapter-by-chapter action hackathon, combined with just a touch of Soulslike elements. Armed with a sword and gun, Romeo will need to beat opponents to level up his gear, and unlock special MacGuffins throughout levels in order to then take on a final area boss. He’s also armed with special attacks, and can harness (or, really, harvest) zombies to bolster his own attacks.

The core of combat isn’t terrible, but it’s not overly enjoyable. Boss battles start off unique and engaging before several tropes rear their head — you’ll have to shoot a vulnerable point to do the most damage before heading in for a close quarters kill, and will certainly have to dodge a series of (rather cheap) area of effect attacks when a boss’ health gets to a certain point. Rinse, repeat.

I was rather bored playing through chapters after only a handful, and it’s here that Romeo is a Dead Man kept me playing because of its quirkiness. I wasn’t enjoying combat all that much, but I was having a ball exploring the FBI’s space-time ship and getting to know its zany inhabitants.

That is, until I got WorstPink, the ship’s medic. Unknowingly, I spoke to her and unlocked what she referred to as the “Time Shocking Labyrinth”, something that looks straight out of a Ren’Py visual novel.

The labyrinth starts out with a simple premise: you’ll be posed with a single question with three potential answers. Get the question right, and you move to the next. Get it wrong and you need to start the entire process over again. I got to question 65 — so potentially working through 195 total combinations of answers, in an effort that took hours and hours to accomplish, before giving up. Or, because I swear that I answered each of the three available answers at that question and was rejected all three times.

Was that effort all for nothing? After spending five minutes each run and getting to — and failing — that 65th question three times in a row, I’m not willing to boot up the labyrinth again to find out. That, oddly enough is how I feel about Romeo is a Dead Man on the whole: there’s something admittedly unique about it, but that quirkiness doesn’t make up for its middle of the road design. In fact, it’s not long before quirky is just there for the sake of quirkiness, not serving anything larger. If your whole thing is about playing something completely outside the mainstream, ignore me and gobble this one up.

No matter your choice, I thought I’d throw up my list of Time Shocking Labyrinth answers in case you want to have a crack.

Time Shocking Labyrinth answers

1. I’m excited
2. I haven’t checked
3. I don’t remember
4. My heart
5. Leave them alone
6. I’m trying to forget it now
7. The time before I go to sleep
8. A break
9. Sometimes
10. Yes
11. The final gas in a battle royale
12. When I feel like I’m about to cry
13. DoDonPachi Resurrection
14. Wait for someone to contact me
15. Comedy
16. Just one foot
17. Someone else’s face
18. My feet
19. A poster of my favourite movie
20. Keep drinking from it
21. Left
22. Escape
23. Bondi blue
24. Like today I can finally change
25. I don’t care about the colour of the sky
26. In bed
27. Leave one on
28. I only ever notice when it’s about to die
29. I’m always holding onto it
30. In a dream
31. The Space-Time forest
32. A tunnel of trees
33. Gladiolus
34. The path in the middle covered with fallen leaves
35. An orange light floating in the sky
36. I was just thinking the same thing
37. Nothing
38. “When the wind stops, the tribulations shall pass, and two shall be chosen”
39. The small pond
40. Yeah, it was silver and shiny
41. In the middle of the pond
42. I’ll hold the rod upright to maintain tension
43. I’ll reel it in slowly and carefully
44. Release it into the pond
45. The waiting
46. The suspension bridge on the mountain
47. A shortcut to love
48. It looks like it’s flickering on and off
49. Yeah, it’s definitely looping
50. The forest to the left
51. I think someone is guiding us
52. The forest is listening to us
53. I’ll just barely touch your fingertips
54. We’ll pop into an old cabin
55. “The Rouge Love Letter”
56. Well, I might as well take a look
57. There’s a poem written in red letters (4 min per run)
58. “Speed You <3 SOSS”
59. There’s something orange approaching
60. I’m sorry for coming in without permission!
61. Someone possessing WorstPink
62. I don’t remember
63. No one has said it yet
64. I think it was you
65. [None of them?]

Romeo is a Dead Man will be available on Windows PC, Xbox Series S, Xbox Series X, and PS5.

Romeo is a Dead Man was reviewed using a promotional code on PS5, as provided by the publisher. Click here to learn more about Stevivor’s scoring scale.