Whackjob church: Pokémon has perverted teenagers and made them gay

A church in Atlanta, USA is claiming that Pokémon has perverted the sexuality of teenagers.

A study by the Creflo Dollar Ministry claims that the ‘perversion’ occurred between 1985 well into the 1990s, affecting those teenagers who watched it. The operation, apparently, was a joint effort between games and the franchise’s cartoon series.

At the forefront of the ‘satanical’ cartoon’s homosexual agenda — at least, according to the church — was the over-sexualised relationship between hero Ash and sidekick Brock.

Moreover, site Christ News offers up more evidence of the agenda in the names of the Pokémon themselves, saying they aim “to guide young people towards the choice of homosexuality”.

“This is the case of Bulbasaur,” the site alleges. “Female breast representation attached to odd word to cast doubt on the natural attraction of man to the forms of the female body.”

The site also says that phallic-looking features of Pokémon were designed to “push teenagers to enjoy this type of shape.”

“Charmander never stops caressing his tail in all his appearances,” the site maintains.

To that, we say this: you see dicks where you want to see dicks.

The study was prepared by Creflo Dollar, the pastor of the church. As an aside, Dollar has also launched a crowd-funding campaign for a private luxury jet — valued at $65 million USD — because God told him to.

“The G650 is the biggest, fastest, most luxurious, longest range and most technologically advanced jet — by far,” jet-maker Golfstream says of the model Dollar is seeking to purchase.

On his own site, soliciting donations, Dollar says, “We need your help to continue reaching a lost and dying world for the Lord Jesus Christ. Your love gift of any amount will be greatly appreciated.”

We wonder if he’ll be preaching against Pokémon in those travels. That said, jets are pretty phallic looking, don’t you think?

Thanks, GayStarNews.

[Mid-post image credit: DeviantArt]