Review: LocoCycle

LocoCycle isn’t very good.

Developed by Twisted Pixel, best known for ‘Splosion Man, LocoCycle seems to be an attempt to recapture the quirky awesomeness of their side-scrolling, slightly puzzle-based hit. In LocoCycle, you control a self-aware, slightly crazy motorcycle named I.R.I.S. as she travels – with Stockholm Syndrome-affected mechanic Pablo dragged behind – to Scottsville, Indiana in a search for ultimate freedom. LocoCycle ditches the side-scrolling nature of ‘Splosion Man and adopts an endless-runner style of gameplay, with chapters and combat mixing it up a tad. In terms of craziness, the game ramps that up at least a thousandfold.

The result? A doge-like video game.

Such quirky. Wow. So indie. Much obscure.

It’s really stupid, guys.

Twisted Pixel seems to think that obscure equals great, putting more effort into their developer title card (“Powered by BEARD”) and chapter-starting videos than into gameplay or a decent plot. As I.R.I.S., hit by electricity and a tad loopy, you drag a Spanish mechanic behind you as he kicks and screams and tries to get free. Ignoring the fact that the poor dude would be a smear on the pavement almost immediately, Pablo kicks and screams and complains at the same time as he smacks enemies with a wrench, tag-teaming hits with his motorcycle captor. Sensibility is thrown out the window. Especially when you consider that I.R.I.S. can detach Pablo from herself for use in combos, meaning the dude should be able to escape the situation at any given time.

The game’s chapter-starting videos go on far too long; near the end, after getting so bored that I decided to start to skip them, LocoCycle warned that I’d miss out on important story elements. Yeah, no. Sentient crazy motorcycle drags mechanic behind her on the way to Scottsdale, whilst other, less crazy sentient motorcycle tries to stop her. It’s not exactly a prize-winning, complex story.

Combat is bland and boring, with the “B” button firing bullets at cars and tankers, the “X” button performing melee strikes and the “A” button countering attacks. At times, quicktime events are thrown at you and primarily make use of the left-stick to dodge objects thrown your way. It’s repetitious almost immediately.

The “A” button can also be held down to activate turbo, which draws the camera very tightly against I.R.I.S., making it hard to steer around objects littered on the road. It also makes it so you need to wholly concentrate on the road, meaning you’ll miss out when the game takes Pablo’s Spanish complaints and translates them into English. Basically, that means you’ll miss out on Twisted Pixels’ “comedy”, even though it’s not particularly funny.

I think Twisted Pixel eventually realised they had a dud on their hands; the game seems to have ridiculously rewarding 75 gamerscore achievements for chapter completion, and a nonsense “Promise” achievement unlocked by simply visiting the in-game menu.

It’s also nonsensical, as you can see above. For shame.

I’m sure you get the idea. LocoCycle takes I.R.I.S. and jumps the shark with her right from the get-go. If you’re really into Twisted Pixels’ weirdness, give it a go, but be warned you’ll be bored by gameplay as you move from video to video. Everyone else should give LocoCycle a wide berth; it’s without doubt the weak link in an otherwise solid Xbox One launch lineup.

Review

The good Nothing.

The bad Everything.

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