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Review: Dead Island

I feel like this review is shockingly late, especially as all evidence the game ever existed is currently getting buried under an avalanche of Batman: Arkham City excitement (which will be followed by the Uncharted 3, Assassin’s Creed Revelations and Halo avalanches—look, it’s just not a good time of year to not be a juggernaut game title). But I am playing Dead Island right now, and so I am going to write about it.

Dead Island, developed by Techland and published by Deep Silver, got tongues wagging and eyebrows lifting back in February this year when that gorgeous non-linear trailer was released. Compelling, engaging and just a teeny bit heartbreaking, this trailer got many people hooked on Dead Island before we’d even seen what the game looked like.

Spoiler: it’s not nearly as good as the trailer.

That’s not to say it’s bad, it’s just flawed.

Unfortunately the first flaw is right there at the beginning of the game, before you even start playing. The ridiculous intro cut-scene, intended to support the “and-when-I-woke-up-everyone-was-dead” scenario that kicks off the game, is unnecessary. It’s too long, too waxy, it makes you feel like your character might be a douchebag, and it raises some interesting existential questions: the video is meant to be a POV of your character, but throughout the video the POV meets all four of the playable character options. Do I, as Logan, get challenged to a fist-fight…by Logan?

Anyway, whatever. Zombie games don’t have a good track record with cut-scenes—Resident Evil,anyone? So let’s cut to the gameplay.

It’s good. It’s really good. It is as repetitive as you’d expect it to be; being a melee-based game with a never ending supply of undead limbs just begging to be bashed in or sliced off, but the repetition doesn’t matter because it is tremendously satisfying.

In fact, in terms of the game’s general feel, I believe Dead Island nailed it. A quietly eerie atmosphere, good solid violence that is neither too muted nor too torture-porny, and best of all? It’s actually challenging! The combination of quiet stalking through lonely streets and balls-to-the-wall action is even-handed, levelling up isn’t a gruelling chore, the locations vary, the weapons vary even more, and the first-person camera wobble? Delightful! The camera in Halo glides like a TV show nun, while the camera inGears of War looks like it was set atop an angry camel. But the camera in Dead Island is juuuuuust right.

Jesus, Jasper, if you like the game so much, why don’t you MARRY it?

Well, here’s the thing. I do like the game very much, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with it. There are many things wrong with it. Frustrating things. I’ve made a list.

1) VOICE ACTING. There is just no excuse for shoddy voice acting these days. It’s not the 90s anymore (Resident Evil, anyone?). Not only are the performances a little on the strained side, but what’s with the accents? Good grief. If your game is set in Papua New Guinea, and you understand that the percentage of Australian characters in the game will be higher, that’s great. Very authentic. So why not get people who can actually do Australian accents? Purna, one of the playable characters and an ex-cop from Sydney, is voiced by a woman born in Cairns. Excellent (and top work by Peta Johnson). Everyone else sounds like they come from some parallel universe where South Africa borders with Wales. Eventually I couldn’t even tell who was supposed to be from where. Was that a New Zealand accent or a bad Australian accent? Was that a British accent or a bad New Zealand accent? Why is the mayor of Moresby Scandinavian? And why does everyone else pronounced the word “mayor” as “mar-YOR”? (Hint: we don’t say that.)

2) TITS AND ASS. I find it as hilarious as the next person that there are murderous, flesh-eating zombies gadding about in string bikinis, but does every single female character have to wear the exact same bikini? I get it’s a sunny, tropical resort, but even in a beach paradise a girl likes to whack a top on occasionally. It’s lazily repetitive, and it raises some uncomfortable questions about the game’s attitude toward women.

3) SEWERS. You lure us into the idea of a zombie apocalypse in a sunny, tropical setting, but you just can’t help yourself, can you? Back into the sewers we go. Dark, damp and claustrophobic. I appreciate the geographic diversity (and I love the way the weather changes in Moresby); but the sunny island apocalypse was a great gimmick. Why abandon it halfway for the same old dreck? Fuck off with the sewers.

4) PERSONAL SPACE. When a zombie charges you head-on and somehow ends up BEHIND you, I’d say there’s some collision-detection issues occurring. I wouldn’t die quite so often if I didn’t end up being eaten by a zombie that flew through my body and ended up behind me. At least, that is what I tell myself.

5) GET SOME FRIENDS, NERD. I feel like the game is bullying me to play with others. Unless I specifically turn it off, the option is open for any old schmoe to just launch him-or-herself into my game and run around killing my zombies. I’m not antisocial or anything, but unless I opt to go multiplayer, my games are MY time. I found it invasive. It also makes the cut-scenes (in which all four playable characters appear) kind of bullsh*t. You’ve been running around the place alone and frightened? NOPE! THERE’VE BEEN FOUR OF YOU THE WHOLE TIME! Bah.

None of these issues are dealbreakers, but they are frustrating, and put a dampener on what could have been a wonderful game. Instead it’s just “good”. And while people run around complaining that the “zombie” genre has been run into the ground, I say yes! Keep it up! Make all the zombie games you can think of! Maybe one day we’ll get it right.


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